“They say, I do not agree with them. Just want to say, give me reasonable arguments backed upon by “verifiable” facts and not surmises and conjectures drawn upon from “wild imaginations”. And you will see me agreeing with you.”
I thought, I finally had found a friend with whom I can discuss matters ranging from cricket, politics, and history to religion to sciences to spirituality, a friend who is clear-headed, calm, unbiased and ready to challenge his own beliefs, in order to come to the right path, and does not care about winning or losing the argument. But, I was disappointed when he exhibited himself as any other person, though his varied interests somewhat save him. I really feel disappointed. And, yes it is only my perception of his personality based upon the discussions we had. In case I missed something, which I genuinely hope I did, I would be more than happy to accept my mistake, for I don’t want to lose such a polymath, who indeed is a rare species.
Most of the people I meet and talk are suffering from following diseases [1]:-
- Bias
- Self-centered thinking
- Group-centered thinking – Tribe, race or nationality.
- Narrow-mindedness
- Unwarranted Assumptions and Stereotypes - Unwarranted assumption is something taken for granted without good reason. Such assumptions often prevent our seeing things clearly. Stereotyping is something like, if we meet one Muslim who is rude, we might jump to the conclusion that all Muslims are rude. Hasty generalizations!
- Wishful thinking - believing something not because you had good evidence for it but simply because you wished it were true.
- They take their facts as the only relevant ones.
- They take their own perspective as the only sensible one.
- They take their goal as the only valid one.
The problem with them is that, they don’t want to think with fair-mindedness. Their whole concern, whenever they enter into a debate is just winning and winning. It does not matter to them whether they come to a right conclusion or a wrong one. I don’t understand why they don’t want to question their already formed beliefs. Why? Why? How come they believe that whatever they have learned is one hundred percent true?
Take for instance this example. It is a talk between me and one of my friends, and he is not the one mentioned above…
Me: I think, by leaving of Mr. XYZ, our company has lost a good employee.
My friend: What? Boss, I am telling you he was a “badawaala”…Do you know what he said in a meeting…blah…blah…
[I listened to his story…and in between he said that he has only heard those things…and not witnessed…still such a strong opinion…I am surprised!]
Me: I don’t think so…I sa…(cut in between as usual, not even allowed to complete my statement or even the word).
And, he started telling me more and more defects of Mr. XYZ, based upon his “dubious” facts, which are nothing more than “hearsay”. Even when I told him that I actually “witnessed” a meeting of Mr. XYZ, in which he solved problems objectively and in a calm manner, he didn’t listen me. He just wants to talk, talk and talk, and as I have seen does not have even an iota of patience to listen to others. Well, what to do now, I think it is better to just walk away.
I truly admire people who have got following qualities (though they exist in my dreams or books only, and have never met any) [2]:-
- They ask questions and analyze. They consciously apply tactics and strategies to uncover meaning or assure their understanding.
- They are open to new ideas and perspectives. They are willing to challenge their beliefs and investigate competing evidence.
- They are good listeners (very important).
- Recognize our own assumptions, prejudices, biases, or point of view
- Recognize emotional impulses, selfish motives, nefarious purposes, or other modes of self-deception
- Avoid snap judgments
- Challenge their own beliefs, each and every step, if someone presents suitable reasons (did I repeat this one?).
References:-
- Critical thinking, A student’s introduction, Fourth edition, The Mcgraw-hill companies, Page 16 and 24.
- http://www.criticalreading.com/critical_thinking.htm
