Philanthropist and Not Corrupt

At the starting of every financial year we have to declare our investments and other applicable expenses which are, as per the rules of income tax department, allowed to be non-taxable. And later, for the same declarations, we have to show proofs. I think, almost everyone provides genuine proofs for the part under investments, mostly in form of insurance policies, but not so is the case for “other expenses”.

Other expenses generally include the following:- 
1. House Rent Receipts. 
2. Home Loan. 
3. Fuel and Maintenance: Expenditure on fuel for official duty.
Of the three, proof for only home loan, as I believe, is not faked, but proofs for other two are generally bogus. And the reason being, the sheer amount of proofs, which make their verification humanely impossible.
Why do people fake? It’s not a question which would require an expertise of a rocket scientist to answer.

Why am I writing this here? A few days ago, I had a discussion with some of my friends, who presented their arguments in support of such a practice and I would like to present the same here along with my own views.

Their arguments:

1. If we pay our taxes genuinely then it will only end up in the pockets of corrupt politicians and bureaucrats, because of rampant corruption.

2. And, instead of paying it to the government and letting her waste our hard earned money on flawed policies, we must keep it with ourselves.

3. And, if you feel guilty for doing so, then wash away your sins by donating all the stolen tax money. (I wonder if anyone would actually do so).

What do you observe?

It’s a beautiful human trait, similar to the one exhibited by Arjuna, when he showed his reluctance to fight the war. Following is a quote from a book which applies wonderfully to the present situation.

The mind of man is indeed very clever, for, it always finds suitable arguments for what it wants to do, or for what it does not want to do. Wanting to get out of an awkward situation it deduces arguments which are sometimes too virtuous to be true.

Following are my views.

Yes there is ubiquitous corruption, but are we not becoming corrupt and justifying the actions of the very same politicians whom we so vociferously denounce as corrupt. On what grounds can we attack them if we are not clean ourselves?

We want clean and efficient system, honest and hardworking bureaucrats, sincere and visionary leaders, but do not want to clean ourselves. Is it possible? Let’s think…hmm…does it seem impossible? Yes, it is. Because the same bureaucrats and leaders who are later called corrupt get their training from our homes only.

And there are others who say that we should evade tax and then donate the same. Here it’s the same dangerous thought, which has no regard for democracy and its institutions, instead asks for subverting the same. It’s like saying if your ends are well intentioned then means does not matter. 
A quote by Nietzsche, “When you looklong into an abyss, the abyss looks into you”.

If we have once decided to live as a democratic country under a constitution and its laws, then it is our responsibility to abide by the same. And if we do have any problem, then it is only on us to fight for the redressal of same through constitutional means, instead of advocating “corruption”.

It’s a system, flawed may be, but still a better one than complete lawlessness. And with time we are sure to encounter or discover its problems and then an opportunity to correct the same. We should not miss them by blinding our eyes with our self-interests. It’s time that we honestly and sincerely accept that we all are corrupt and then should change ourselves, instead of living under our hypocrisy, and always calling only public officials corrupt.

I sincerely feel very sad and I just don't know why. 

That suicidal feeling seems to have overtaken me again. What is the problem with me? I have a job with a decent salary, good enough for me to sustain and which I am doing. Yes, I don't like my job, but then how many does still they seem to be happy. What is it that I'm looking for? What is it that can probably fill this vacuum inside of me? It's not as if I never feel happy, in fact I do, when I get a chance to play cricket with full energy so to say as if I'm deeply involved in it, as if there is nothing which I care about. But, still there's this hole which makes me feel, what am I doing, what could've I done...

It's not that I worry about dying, it's just this dream which horrifies me. I see myself in a room on a bed looking at the ceiling wondering what could have I done with this life. 

As I look at my grandfather's, my parents, and other people's lives, I see nothing which can probably motivate me to do something in life, I see no real purpose. They lived the way millions had before them and millions will after them. So, what's the point? Why is everyone striving so hard to earn and collect materials? What is everyone trying to achieve? What will happen in the end?

Why did I write so? It was a mindless statement, delivered without due thought. How can I just write about movies, "which have nothing to do without reality." Did I have some concrete information for that? No, I didn't.

How did I realize my error? As I do not expect anyone else to read and "comment", so I read it "as usual", while trying to figure out why anyone else would come and read it.

Why am I writing this here, could have easily edited the earlier blog? Oh! come on do I need to explain this also and that too to myself. As they say, "vainglorious".

But, in future, I will try to make sure that I do not write hastily.

Anyways, my office hours were as usual boring and monotonous, but there's always a story to tell, though I do not write everyday, but today I would like to share something.

Mr. Eccentric was as usual whining about Rs. 3300, that I owe him, in his words, which in actuality belong to, as we have to come to call it, the Recreational Committee or is it Club or is it Council...oh! come on man what is it...whatever, the point is that I was avoiding him for quite a number of days, thinking that when he would actually need it, I will give him. But, today he asked me again. So, I decided to give him back.

While transferring the money to his account, the bank's portal asked me "Transaction remarks", and just to have some fun I wrote in it, "Bheekh", which in English means Alms. It doesn't sound so bad in English or does it? Only native English speakers can actually tell, but to me, in English, it surely doesn't. But to him in Hindi, it surely sounded like Hell. I also admit that it does sound bad in Hindi.

But this bad it would sound to him that I had never imagined, and that he would react like the way he did, surely was inconceivable by me. 

He quickly read it and then agitatedly asked me, "Yeh kya likha hai tune", "What is this that you have written?”. And, then suddenly started shouting angrily, "I will tell you in open forum", "I will bring this in front of everybody" and blah blah.

I have known this person since three and a half years, and we have since been quite friendly. But, after this incident and when I look back, I can remind myself of a few more, I can surely say that I cannot claim to have known him.

I don't know how he can behave like that; he behaved as if I actually meant to hurt him or genuinely tried to humiliate him. Have we not been friends long enough to understand each other at least that much and that friends never actually mean anything from their hearts, even though sometimes they might say very crude jokes, which might seem like nasty, though not intended to hurt? Can’t he remind himself of how many times he had said things to me of a similar nature? And, that I never actually took it the way he did today, because I have always believed that he never meant them, which indeed he did not (atleast that’s what I believe), same as I did not mean today. 

Whenever any of my friend says such a thing which might be bad but not deliberately designed to harm, I always ignore it saying "Koi baat nahin or jaane bhi do yaaron or dil pe mat le yaar", "No problem", for I know it's hard to have good friends.

But now it is certain that I shall refrain myself from being friendly with him anymore and would not talk to him except for professional matters.

And, I have also realized one thing after this incident that I will have to be very careful while making remarks or passing jokes, especially with whom, which as a matter of fact leads me to believe that I should adopt a silent way, because I don't know what I would say and how would it be taken up.

P.S: There’s sufficient reason for me calling him eccentric and it is not only due to this spat with him and certainly not because I do not like him, but we “all” agree with him being termed as such. While, that “all” may not actually include all, but I think finding exclusions may result being a futile activity.

Happy New Year 2012

2012 has finally arrived. While some prophesied that it would be the end of world, millions wished each other a Happy and Prosperous New Year. Withal, I wish everyone a purposeful and meaningful new year, this I also wish to myself.

A friend once asked me, “Where do you see yourself, five years down the line?” to which I said, “That’s a difficult one. Give me some time to think.” So, he asked me another question, “Where do you want to see yourself?” and then I answered, “May be first one was easy to answer.”

See that’s the problem, you might learn to do many a things for survival and start making money, but after a few years of monotonous and banal life, it occurs to you that, is it really the purpose of my life? Is it for I was born? And then a fearful thought takes its birth in the mind, “Will I go on living like this and suddenly die without any warning. What is the purpose of this life? Why does this world exist?”, and with passing of every second it grows stronger and stronger. It surely had grown in me and sometimes, it makes me consider the idea of putting an end to this mundane existence. But then comes another feeling, as Tom Hanks said, that I have to stay alive, I gotta keep breathing, because tomorrow the sun will rise and who knows what the tide might bring. It may intrigue someone as to how can I seek an answer in a movie quote, which have nothing to do with reality. I don’t know but somehow it comforts me!

Once again I wish you all a very happy new year… and hey! You too have a great one..!