I sincerely feel very sad and I just don't know why.
That suicidal feeling seems to have overtaken me again. What is the problem with me? I have a job with a decent salary, good enough for me to sustain and which I am doing. Yes, I don't like my job, but then how many does still they seem to be happy. What is it that I'm looking for? What is it that can probably fill this vacuum inside of me? It's not as if I never feel happy, in fact I do, when I get a chance to play cricket with full energy so to say as if I'm deeply involved in it, as if there is nothing which I care about. But, still there's this hole which makes me feel, what am I doing, what could've I done...
It's not that I worry about dying, it's just this dream which horrifies me. I see myself in a room on a bed looking at the ceiling wondering what could have I done with this life.
As I look at my grandfather's, my parents, and other people's lives, I see nothing which can probably motivate me to do something in life, I see no real purpose. They lived the way millions had before them and millions will after them. So, what's the point? Why is everyone striving so hard to earn and collect materials? What is everyone trying to achieve? What will happen in the end?
That suicidal feeling seems to have overtaken me again. What is the problem with me? I have a job with a decent salary, good enough for me to sustain and which I am doing. Yes, I don't like my job, but then how many does still they seem to be happy. What is it that I'm looking for? What is it that can probably fill this vacuum inside of me? It's not as if I never feel happy, in fact I do, when I get a chance to play cricket with full energy so to say as if I'm deeply involved in it, as if there is nothing which I care about. But, still there's this hole which makes me feel, what am I doing, what could've I done...
It's not that I worry about dying, it's just this dream which horrifies me. I see myself in a room on a bed looking at the ceiling wondering what could have I done with this life.
As I look at my grandfather's, my parents, and other people's lives, I see nothing which can probably motivate me to do something in life, I see no real purpose. They lived the way millions had before them and millions will after them. So, what's the point? Why is everyone striving so hard to earn and collect materials? What is everyone trying to achieve? What will happen in the end?
No comments:
Post a Comment