I think it's almost a year since I wrote anything. I have just lost the excitement and interest to write and share my thoughts with anyone at all. Right now at 00.24 AM, I am just forcing myself to write whatever is coming to my mind.
I often wonder, what should I write about? But, I get no answer. Maybe it is better to just write whenever something comes to my mind but then those are just fragmented thoughts having no coherency at all.
Maybe, I am writing just because I am a lot disturbed today. And more often than not it's the casteism of this society in which I am forced to live that makes me feel so. Sometimes I feel like a Jew living among Nazis. The same fear of being discovered or asked about your caste. The same fear of persecution and humiliation, of being told every now and then that you are worth nothing.
Whenever I searched for a house for renting, I was fearful that I would be asked about my caste and indeed it was asked. But this time, to get a decent house, I had to circumvent the truth. Instead of lying, I did not say anything and let them assume what they wanted to. I don't know how would they react once they find out.
But it is lying nevertheless, of not being able to live freely without any fear of confronting your identity.
I don't think this country will ever change. These people just want to even deny the fundamental rights to the people of their own country and when the government does something to help through affirmative actions, they say that that is unfair, "Earn your position". Well, guess what you did not even leave them with enough confidence to even believe in themselves that they are also as good as you are but instead since birth told them that they belong to the gutter.
Even then I say let's compete on merit, give up your caste names and ban caste.
Update: In the end, I actually did not take the flat instead found one where the landlord did not care to ask about caste.
I often wonder, what should I write about? But, I get no answer. Maybe it is better to just write whenever something comes to my mind but then those are just fragmented thoughts having no coherency at all.
Maybe, I am writing just because I am a lot disturbed today. And more often than not it's the casteism of this society in which I am forced to live that makes me feel so. Sometimes I feel like a Jew living among Nazis. The same fear of being discovered or asked about your caste. The same fear of persecution and humiliation, of being told every now and then that you are worth nothing.
Whenever I searched for a house for renting, I was fearful that I would be asked about my caste and indeed it was asked. But this time, to get a decent house, I had to circumvent the truth. Instead of lying, I did not say anything and let them assume what they wanted to. I don't know how would they react once they find out.
But it is lying nevertheless, of not being able to live freely without any fear of confronting your identity.
I don't think this country will ever change. These people just want to even deny the fundamental rights to the people of their own country and when the government does something to help through affirmative actions, they say that that is unfair, "Earn your position". Well, guess what you did not even leave them with enough confidence to even believe in themselves that they are also as good as you are but instead since birth told them that they belong to the gutter.
Even then I say let's compete on merit, give up your caste names and ban caste.
Update: In the end, I actually did not take the flat instead found one where the landlord did not care to ask about caste.
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